I’ve been fortunate to collaborate with some great leaders, and one of those thought leaders, Dr. David Facer with the Ken Blanchard Company, is a friend who has done extensive research on “Optimal Motivation” factors related to our personal and professional engagement.
- Offer as many options as possible when making requests for action, and make them true options. Employees need to feel a sense of freedom and control over their work. Try to avoid false options that really pressure them toward the single outcome you think is best.
- Highlight the extraordinary learning that everyone is doing, particularly when times are tough. People are less afraid of difficult challenges when they realize they are successfully learning their way through them.
- Balance focus on final results with focus on team, community, and collective effort. Be sure not to bang the table for results without expressing your gratitude for individual and team effort along the way.
6 Ways to control your control freak:
- Authorize someone on your team to confront you when you’re controlling. Give them permission to point out controlling language, postures, and behaviors.
- Ask more; command less.
- Adapt to and align with others. Adapting is weakness and failure to control freaks. Everything’s a contest.
- Speak for yourself not others. Control freaks won’t speak from their hearts and won’t let others speak from theirs either. Say what you really think.
- Monitor and reject fear-based decisions. Control freaks are fearful. Fear is best for maintaining and protecting. Courage innovates.
- Go with new ideas. Control freaks default to “no,” unless it’s their idea.
- Connect. Close the distance. Embrace casual; reject corporate-speak.
- Correct or confront.
- Collaborate. Plan with not for.
We all have the potential to use and express anger at times. It is a God-given emotion. Still, it is better for us to utilize some self-management techniques.
I was reading a blog post about the subject of kindness once. They said the number one reason why we do not show more kindness to others is due to having no margin in our lives. If we have more time availability, we are kinder.
It’s nauseating to hear – someone soft-shoe dancing around an issue because they’re afraid of hurting someone’s feelings. They do so because they might receive negative feedback in a 360 review that they were abrupt or too direct in delivering feedback on that issue. So rather than going the direct route, they water down their message until it’s a mealy mouthed blathering stream of meaningless suggestions.
It’s called CANDOR. Jack Welch speaks of this as critical for personal success. So here’s what I propose:
When you tiptoe around an issue, we come across as lacking conviction and clarity. More likely than not the recipient of the feedback knows what they did (or didn’t do). They just want you to get it over with. Dancing around the issue is a waste of time. It’s confusing. The recipient might walk away confused or with the wrong impression. None of these are good things.
Heed Yoda’s advice: