Likely, you are a very good leader. But, there are people whom the BEST leaders (including yourself) can’t lead.
I have a desire to help everyone. But, I have learned the hard way that I cannot help or support everyone who comes to me for input.
The following are 9 kinds of people that are so entrenched in certain habit patterns that you and I cannot help them advance to the next level unless they make the necessary shift in their attitude or behavior.
1. Those who do not take responsibility for themselves.
The first step toward self-improvement is to remove all excuses for mediocrity or failure. Those that continually blame other people for their failures will never go to the next level.
Leaders can complain about their spouses, the income level of their congregations, the lack of staff, etc., but I have learned that within every challenge is the seed of opportunity for success, which requires the creativity of problem solving.
2. Those who create distance so they are not accountable.
There are certain people I have met in various organizations who only let others get so close before cutting off the relationship. Many can go from one mentor to the next because they fear becoming too close to a leader who will hold them accountable.
Whether it is fear or rebellion, those who live like this have put a low ceiling on their lives and will not grow past the infant stage concerning their potential in life.
3. Those who insist on having a negative outlook on life.
There are some have a propensity to expect the worst in life so they are never disappointed by anyone or anything!
This is a weird way some folks attempt to shield their emotions from the pain of disappointment; it is a very common practice with many people.
Neither you or I can empower a person who refuses to think positive thoughts about themselves and about life.
4. Those who refuse to have a vision for their future.
There are many very talented and anointed people I have been in relationship with who live their lives without any strategic plan or vision for their future. They are just living from day to day to prepare for their retirement.
Those who are successful have a compelling vision that drives them daily and that feeds their souls even more than the desire to make money.
5. Those who live in self-deception.
There are many people who are living lives of denial regarding their relationships with their family, colleagues and the people they serve (including God).
The sad thing is that denial is the first step to outright deception, in which a person concocts an alternate, false reality that continually feeds their mind and emotions the things they want to hear about themselves and their key relationships.
When you confront people like this, they become upset and blame you for not understanding them or for wrongfully accusing them of something. Only they can removed the blinders from their own eyes- you cannot do it for them.
6. Those who do not want to pay the price for success.
There are many that want the perks of success but don’t want to pay the price for success.
Whatever we do in life, we are called to sacrifice our time, invest our talents and be committed to a long, grueling process with many setbacks until we reach our peak performance. This kind of sacrifice is needed in every area we desire success in, including our marriages, relationships with our children, leading a company or a church, etc.
Consequently, I have found that I am not able to empower a person to the fullness of their destiny if they don’t want to work hard at self-improvement.
7. Those whose primary agenda is individualistic and not others-oriented.
There are some people whose only agenda in life is to advance their own agenda.
They don’t want to work with a team or flow in the context of a local church. They want others to pour their lives into them, but they are rarely ever willing to pour back into others.
Those who only want to use other high-capacity people to advance their own agenda (even if it is ministry related) have greatly limited their own lives. Thus, I back away from these people until they change.
8. Those who refuse to keep their word.
I have been with very talented individuals with a strong sense of calling on their lives but who find it difficult (for whatever reason) to remain faithful to their obligations. Or they broke confidence by continually talking behind other people’s backs.
Some things can be trained – but you cannot train character.
9. Those who lack transparency, humility and integrity.
When someone gets to the place where their humble enough to admit their faults and confess areas of personal growth, they are ready for the type of leader that can be a powerful coach in their lives.